|
i crave a craving like no other my drug my choice coffee lots of cream lots of sugar hyper activity in a cup yet one cup is not enough i drink by the pot i drink by the dim light coffee i am addicted to it warming my throat which goes sour without it funnel it down drink until the blood vessels in my eyes swell to find light outside stains my teeth, so i use crest i reek from a distance coffee enhancing my urges powering my thoughts my cup my coffee my cup of coffee refill it -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
They are all the same Shirts and jeans all brand name Stupid hair cuts all the same I think, they're ALL lame! Only one and you're so trashed Have a sip and you'll be smashed Beer! - Guzzling preps make me sick Beer! - Guzzling preps all suck dick They hate drugs, but drinking's fine They're all selfish, mine mine mine If a bomb killed them it'd be fine Parties are for their own kind Spoiled to the core Loose, rich whore So much for dad's girl Can't take it had to hurl Beer Guzzling Preps - on the couch Beer Guzzling Preps - all passed out Beer Guzzling Preps - suck so hard Beer Guzzling Preps - in the backyard -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Ball-tight Wranglers and cowboy boots Redneck shirt, you think you're cute Confederate flag and a can of dip And you wonder why I call you a hick? A primer Ford truck gets you far You'll spend the rest of your life working on cars You dream of being the Marlboro man When you need to learn to spit in a can Senior in high school with a 5th grade education You're still obsessed with masturbation Stupid haircut and a stetson hat All this and a girl who's fat You have an incest disposition 'Cuz inbreeding is tradition -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Will I still write when I'm out of ink When do the blind blink Why don't cockroaches become extinct I don't know -- all I do is think Unemployed with a college degree Even McDonald's won't hire me I'm overqualified for the job And have too much pride to push a mop I sit on a bench And help the bums With their problems And take their booze in return Psychology Major -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Don't smoke here Can't smoke there Smoking causes cancer It'll make you lose your hair Not at school, not at work Surgeon general's a fucking jerk Not around your parents Not around the kids Please I need a drag Where can I smoke my cigs? -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
A quick stop, at a convince store turned out to be, more than i bargained for Casually i went, to find me some beer then i looked up, at the convex mirror and the fat mini mart lady was dying! this dude was choking her and she was trying, to scream At first I thought this was all right She'd ID'd me earlier tonight And figured the bitch would do it again She did this quite often, the dyke hated men About two minutes later the man left Taking the cash, shooting her in the chest This had never happened to me before Should I call for help or exit out the door? I loaded up on groceries, they were free tonight Didn't stop to think if my actions were right Finished up my shopping didn't even pay This was the strangest beer run I've ever made -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Something has been bothering you, I've noticed for quite some time. You haven't seemed yourself, And now I realize why. I've been suspicious of you, I thought there was another. But now I know your style, Just how many were there? You never said I love you, I was never sure you cared. And when I saw you having sex, I dropped my jaw and stared. I didn't know whose voice, Was coming from our bed. But it blew my mind when I peeked in, Her bra was on your head! I wouldn't forgive cheating, It's worse than a lie. But when I saw you bumpin' tacos, I fell to my knees and cried. You never said I love you, I never knew you were bi. But I can tell you now, All those orgasms were a lie. You want to stay together, You like my company. But when you bring those girls over, Will you let me have a piece? I guess we'll work it out, No more in our bed than three. But there is one last condition, You gotta tell me you love me. -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
*for david tawil David joined the frat In his freshman year He saw them getting girls And guzzling lots of beer David knew at first sight This was the path for him Just get initiated and He can finally be a pimp DAVID WAS A FRAT BOY! David was left out He needed to get fucked So he called up Rhonda Valdez And it cost him twenty bucks Then came the time When he had to pay his dues He said, "Just charge it to my parents I'm a rich Jew!" DAVID WAS A FRAT BOY! Lambda Masta Beta Alpha Gamma Zeta One beer plus one girl And you get into her Theta Now many of you don't know David ....But I bet you do, There's an army of these David's And they're joining frats near you! -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
I just don't get the art I see Colours thrown on a piece of paper Sells for lots of money Others see what I haven't found Like how the artist feels As he throws the paint around That's the beauty of art these days It can look like shit And you can still get paid A coked-up psycho with no paint brush He paints with his face This is just too much Well here's a block of wood I just urinated on The going price is one hundred -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
if happiness was bottled i'd buy a forty ounce and if i had a pet tourist i'd teach him how to count but the humidity's dried me out and it's really hard to think i ponder the impossible and fix another drink my psychiatrist thinks i'm crazy my mom won't accept my calls the infomercial salesman has that audience by the balls if i was a deity i'd sleep a thousand years and if i met another god i'd buy that god a beer sobriety sets on empty pockets my creativity stops it's flow what was i just saying? oh shit, i don't know -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
i've never met a midget that i can recall but i wanna meet some little people standing three feet tall i wanna put my midget in a pair of overalls put him on a leash and take him to the mall -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
it was a little party and no harm was meant but angie kissed a girl and from there it got bent she did it for attention not from hormones but i hear the other girl tried to slip her some tongue angie kisses girls on new years eve angie kisses girls for all the guys to see -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
* This is a parody of minor threat's infamous "straight edge" song i'm a person just like you but i have better things to do than mark my hands with an X being underfoot, the punk rock pest i drink when i want, smoke sometimes too i'm not an addict so what's with you i don't waste my time preaching my adolescent mind i'm not straight edge i'm a person just like you but i have better things to do than be abusive with teen angst because i have some growing pains laugh at the thought of your X'd hands don't be pissed, i don't hate you man but don't start shit you brainwashed fuck because you think you're so damn punk i'm not straight edge i'm a person just like you but i got better things to do than sit around and judge my friends or preach about life's dead ends i have no problems if you don't drink but you're not better, if that's what you think a punk rock religion whose future's bleak your scene is a cop out for the weak "don't mock me for my actions i'm in control of my reactions" *last two lines by Mark Adkins, ala Guttermouth* -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
a hollow sound like an aluminum can crashing to a checker-tiled floor the resonating voice of the can in harmony with the tile is symphonic to the hum of the fluorescent light above the can is empty no spillage -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Lisa was the fat girl in the back of the class Her special desk specially fit her ass She wasn't asked to the prom and she wasn't very liked She almost committed suicide, but she knew it wasn't right So Lisa stopped eating and started regurgitating food She dropped out of school and tried for something new Found herself a job as a phone sex operator Made a lot of money as a professional masturbator Spent the day sleeping, spent her evenings on the phone Sure this sounds nice, but things weren't right at home Lisa got sick and lost a lot of weight After almost dying she found her new fate With all her saved wealth, Lisa got surgery New ass, new breasts, straightened hair dyed burgundy With all the contacts from her previous experience She made a few calls and got herself into the business She made her first movie and boy she felt great Sent a copy to her old classmates Little did she remember, she attended prep school To her old classmates, she still wasn't cool Always starving for attention and doing everything she could No matter who she was or what she did, it was never any good The ending to the story is neither swell nor sad Lisa continued her life wishing for what she could never have There are some people in this world you can't make happy -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
some girls take guys' jackets some girls take guys' clothes why the sentimental attachment no one really knows my girl has a dopey doll i got for her birthday she holds it close to her heart when i am far away some do it for trophies some for memories but if you want something that is mine i hope you ask me please material possessions remind us everyday of little things in our lives that happened along the way some girls take guys' hearts others collect alimony either way the guy gets screwed 'cause all he'll get is pity some guys take girls' underwear others take virginity but since that's taken only once they aren't left so empty material possessions remind us everyday of experiences both good and bad that have happened along the way -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
* I had always wanted to write a country-folk song that told a pretty wild story,
I don't remember how I came up with this one, but I put some music to my first verse and the rest
just flowed right out....I am not always consistent with the lyrics, and I use a refrain when I play it,
so here's a more complete version of it....hope you find it fun. - Derek
i was driving down to mardi gras i'd been driving nine hours straight from my home in san antonio I didn't want to show up late well i took a turn into a swamp after sleeping at the wheel i woke up to see an alligator's eyes awaiting his next meal well i doggie paddled to the bank and the gator was on my tail my life flashed right before my eyes and i started to go pale when out of the swampland she did come towering six feet tall she picked that motherfucker up and wrestled it to the ground well she was raised down in the bayou by four brothers and her dad she was the only mother that family ever had she drug it home for dinner where i met her brothers and her dad they didn't speak good english because home schooling was all they had well i didn't know where i was gonna go the nearest phone was two days away my car was totaled in the wreck my only choice was to stay three months have passed and i'm glad tomorrow is the wedding day her dress is made of gator hide even the ring was home made sometimes i think i'm crazy but i'm the luckiest guy in the world just don't go messin with my new bride that mean ass gator girl -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
just because we're friends shouldn't mean that we can't fuck who wrote this unwritten law because i think it sucks casual sex with you would be better than you think it sure beats a perfect stranger who's a prostitute for a drink 'lets just be friends' should be tattooed on my back from all the times i've had to hear it i'm surprised i haven't cracked so who wrote the unwritten law and put an end to my fantasies did this song earn a sympathy fuck or do i have to ask you please -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
who let Jackie in she's drinking all our beer loud, obnoxious girl she's puking on the chair no Jackie you can not borrow twenty bucks yes I know if you don't get money you can't get fucked up who let Jackie in she made a mess of the place she's eaten most my food and slapped my girlfriend in the face "I'm sorry I broke your lamp, when I get a job I'll pay you back" "No Jackie shut up, you're too loud, what part don't you get about get the hell out" oh no the landlord's coming the neighbors hate me so it's all your fault Jackie just leave me alone -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
Your poetry is whiney and tells me nothing "numb with pain and a bloody heart" the only thing bloody are my eyes from having read the same trite expressions about how you're twenty-four and still upset over something that happened years ago. Is this what generation x is all about? Or does it include those wannabe-Seattle kids with dirty fingernails and torn jeans who pump their hamburger-flipping pay checks on schwag only to sit around and talk about how bored they are? You have claims of not wanting to fit in yet you wear goth makeup to make you special ever think to try something more original? Your elite club is just as unaccepting as any other Do you see yourself with black fingernail polish and moonlight skin when you are thirty years old? Does the world need more art majors? This is not a request for the conformity of your subculture. What exactly does subculture mean? Sub meaning below, should this imply this group is below culture? Is this offending you or just making you more morose? Oh don't cry, quick, someone get the kid wearing black a tissue! -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
* back to my roots: short songs about stupid people Everything about her is fake Her personality is blank When I ask her a question she smiles and agrees Many guys wonder where are all the girls like these But meeting one is a mistake Everything about her is fake Her silicone boobs are great They're bouncy, yet firm But my gender never learns How to find a good mate Everything about her is fake Her chest, her thighs, her face She talks about nothing She's stupid or something But oh well, she's fun to date -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
* the cheesiest thing I've probably ever written....too much Ramones lately :) i've never cared for getting clean it's never been important to me but now i think i've found a reason to be clean this spring season you, you make me want to shower i, i just needed some will power you, you make me want to shower my, my heart is pumping like rush hour i now look after my hygiene in hopes that i'll be seen would you like to go on a date i promise i won't smell up the place -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
i made my way to the clothing store the sales lady was a . . . helpful person, but i don't even know what to ask shopping for women is such a task i wandered more through no man's land there's so much i don't understand why is there a number and not a size this is nothing like shopping for a guy if i was gay i could pick medium or large but they have to go and make it hard this shirt costs more than i weigh i hope you wear it everyday i think i smelled thirty perfumes but none of them would smell good on you they'd make me think of the door greeter and how much i want to beat her they say that diamonds are a girls best friend but they're more than i have to spend i know why guys just give up their credit card shopping for women is just too hard if you only knew the things i went through to get this gift for you then maybe you'd understand what it's like to be a man....in love with you -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
"hate", "kill", "pain" get a fucking thesaurus how about "trite", "cliche", "worn" like an overplayed chorus when can we get poets to stop using the same old words to describe the same old rife about how they hate the one they love and other paradoxes of life "crying", "agony", "hurt" get a new vocabulary more like "over-used", "tired", "jaded" your lack of words scares me if i have to read one more hackneyed teen angst poem i'm going to mark it up using a red marker and force them to write something that doesn't suck -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
age, sex, location just an internet conversation though there is a desperation for a little education to correct the spelling abomination sup how r u 2day im kool nuthin much juz spendin ours chattin n such c's become k's s's become z's kan u type more klearly pleeze what r u up 2 2marrow im going 2 skool ahight thats kool how can you misspell a misspelling i'm not the spell check patrol but learn a little keyboard control -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
|
they say derek you just don't get it, you don't understand the food you're eating has been contaminated by man i'm not against organic anything, i buy some of that too but don't feed me propaganda about GE being bad for you between organic and GE food, with the latter at a lower price the general public will choose GE and roll the genetic dice the little proof that activists hang on to is wearing rather thin and until there is some real evidence, the public will discredit them what about corn and other wonders of cross pollination and being able to take out the randomness of edible creation hey what happened to the scares of global warming and acid rain? i eat genetically engineered food and i'm okay -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |