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* this poem dedicated to Kelly Kytola A tear comes to mind, when I think of youAnd remember the time when our friendship was new. A gentle smile centered on your face, And I knew that then was the time and place, To kiss you, I did and felt a tick back in my heart. I thought we'd be forever and never part, But now we have come to a fork in the road, Where we must no longer carry each other's load, Let the burden off our shoulders and not leave a scar, For the paths we are taking are very far apart. I will remember always the places we went, And cherish forever the time we've spent. So now is the time where I say goodbye, Spend one last minute lost in your eyes. As much as I know that we can't stay, I hope our paths will cross again some other day.... -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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shadow of doubt clouds over my mind make my decision I need more time disease in my head feelings toward you skin so soft eyes so blue cloud over my head holds back my luck drained of affection I pay for a fuck -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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the first step to wisdom is to know you know nothing the way to appreciate is to start with nothing well all I know now is that I don't have you and all I posses is my craving for you I feel I've needed you since the beginning of time on my way to wisdom I ask, will you ever be mine? -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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long socks plaid skirt shiny shoes free of dirt short hair in a bow cutest thing you'll ever know witty tongue cunning mind so proud she's all mine most wonderful thing in the world is my little catholic school girl -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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don't lie to make me happy i don't need a tainted charm your false feelings bring emotional harm i am afraid of loneliness our love no longer true but can i stand alone without leaning on you disease of your affection penetrating me your beauty like a virus attacking violently not to worry, ill be fine i'll make it through the day but when tomorrow comes i'll have the courage to walk away -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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you don't even know the pain i feel when i start to question what is real i know you're the cause my lust for you gnaws its way, through my brain and i'm here, alone standing by myself, with tears of understanding rolling down my cheeks now i know my bended heart won't be mended by your love.... no longer will i cry or ask for help from up above i don't blame thee i blame myself for my insecurities this time i'm really confused about what i should do i have this fear of never being satisfied i can't find stable happiness, i've tried and tried this isn't easy, i'm the butt of my own joke i want some affection, this is all i hope now i know my bended heart won't be mended by your love.... no longer will i cry or ask for help from up above and i'll live my life until i die wondering if i'll ever be satisfied it's not easy being the butt of your own joke i want some affection, this is all i hope -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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i thought it was love it was just bad luck and i came to the conclusion my love life really sucks i'm not sure of my problem it's gotta be me maybe i'm too afraid to face reality i thought it was love just my hormones kickin' i look back at yesterday oh what was i thinking my fingers no longer count the mistakes i have made tears labeled why seemed to end my day and a beautiful girl enters the room her caring smile ends my gloom i get some affection no longer am i broken hearted it seems the cycle was just restarted -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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* this is to that mc donalds girl i wrote this for
* i want a cheese burger with no pickles, large fries, a coke and your phone number * the food is mediocre i'm sure my cholesterol is high but since you work here i eat here all the time it's not the food that brings me back but that soft, flirty smile and those all-knowing eyes the kind of things that make life worth while to you, i'm probably just another customer who loves the food, but i don't you see you could overcharge for cereal and water because anything from you would be a treat and i'd still think about you if you worked somewhere new and knowing my obsessions that restaurant would happen to serve my favorite food so don't be afraid i have no psychotic intentions what seems like my stalking of you is only a release of my affections so i sit in a booth and let my imaginations roam free it's only once in one's life to see the girl of their dreams -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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will i ever love again a question on my mind will i ever love another like you in this life if it was meant to be it'll happen this is what i am told but i fear i won't find another and will die alone
i really miss you now will i ever love again thinking about it just brings me down with sweat in my eyes my heart starts pounding and i begin to cry well it's better to have loved and i still have my memories they'll always make me happy and set my heart at ease -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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today i learned a lesson that will always be true saying goodbye to someone is the hardest thing to do i've never felt a loss until i said goodbye i thought i was strong and i broke down and cried never will i forget the times we had though the reflections are happy it makes me rather sad the most brutal of men cries at the past i only wish the good times would last so i humor myself i'd smile if i could why can't things work out? because life isn't supposed to be that good -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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why do i build up feelings that i'm not sure exist i shouldn't insist i've made up my vacillate mind i don't understand how you can be so indecisively cruel i question if you care for my well being, or if this is just an illusion to fill temporary satisfaction it's all a distraction to the rest of my life -- my life revolves around my all-too-caring heart i don't understand how you can be so indecisively cruel but why should i expect you to make up your mind when i can't make up mine -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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so i don't know what i want cuz i can't read how you feel wouldn't it be sad if you're going through the same fucking ordeal i'm patient but i can't wait forever for you to decide on what you're going to do i just guess you don't know what i'm emotionally going through you're crying for attention it's so obvious with those you keep around, but is there anything i can say is there anything i can do i'm so afraid of fucking up that i can't tell you how i feel -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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* dedicated to Susan something about youmakes me remember all of the time we have shared together i never knew the truth of perfection yet still i don't but you're a connection your flaws are perfect to my eyes a veil ignorance your only disguise this whole reality seems so incessant and all this perfection just makes me hesitant just so perfect how can it be someone like you found someone like me -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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In my seemingly never ending quest for love I found that you must let it find you So I stood still and it came to me It had been there all this time Funny the things you miss When you have such determined eyes -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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there are some you can't let go of the ones whom you shed a tear for when they travel away from you those are the ones you feel you love then there are some that you hate to see go but hold back your dampening eyes when they part from your side these are the ones you know you love -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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the days are long but the weeks fly by the clock ticks the second hand waves goodbye the days are hot but at night i sleep peacefully because i know someday soon you will be with me -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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sometimes i feel i just want to be wanted like i thirst for the attention but i don't even know why then other times i don't want to be bothered it's not that i'm depressive i think i'm a lot of fun i just have changes of mood lately things aren't satisfying food is good, but there's nothing i crave sex is decent, but it's only with myself i'm not unhappy, but i don't feel joyous either and i sit and think about what really makes me smile usually the insignificant things a surprise phone call a piece of candy someone gives me a good story told by a total stranger and what do these things reveal i like to be thought of i want to be wanted -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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i haven't found anyone better for me than you and i'm too stubborn to call you on the phone i forgot how we got in this situation but i think about you when i'm alone i all too often dwell on the past though i do so less every day it's not that i haven't moved on you just impacted my life that way maybe we'll see each other again but then again maybe not and if that chance arises i'd like to give it a shot -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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sometimes i hate my pessimism it results in hesitism and i get caught in a circle that circulates through my mind i take a breath and concentrate make sure my emotions don't instigate a decision i might regret or suffer for down the line why do my words pause with hesitation is it my overactive imagination that constant fear of the future and what will happen to me i'm uncomfortable having so much emotion and i don't know where i got that notion why can't it be more simple it's my only insecurity sometimes i feel so inundated is it really that complicated of course it isn't but i've created a monster in my mind happiness is all that matters i say nice things not just to flatter you you know i mean it you're someone not easy to find so where do all these thoughts leave me i'm not sure but in the end i'm happy happy to be the one to share these thoughts with you i hope my doubts don't complicate things nor go overboard and start to cling but everything will be fine because you feel the same way too -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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it's so hard when you're not here it's just as hard when you are i hestitate my outer emotion i don't want to cause commotion my heart declines into my stomach with every word i speak i hold back my humid eyes to keep me from going weak it's not only the affection i crave but the affection i crave to give it's so hard to let it go but in the end i'll live -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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you're back in my arms i've missed you so hold on tighter don't let the moment go i've missed your lips pressed tightly against mine i feel like the clouds have moved and i can feel the sunshine i dreamed of a fantasy vacation where we were all alone but reality set in and you turned to stone -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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i've made the mistake of complacency and now i'm paying the price i've made the mistake of being a pussy and trying to be too nice and now i kick myself for all the previous hesitations because not being myself has led to all of these frustrations i don't want to live in the past if i can help it but the road ahead is slippery as i drive it i've made the mistake of stupidity and now i kick myself i kick myself for when i hesitated i kick myeslf i'm so frustrated i kick myself -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |
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it was love at first sight and it all moved so fast you were my girlfriend before two weeks passed we had the best relationship anyone could ever hope for we shared a love i had never felt before it all started so fast the end was sudden too and my only regret is that i couldn't make it up to you through our years we shared amazing times went amazing places i was yours, you were mine you inspired me and we grew up together over time i thought it might last forever but towards the end i grew complacent you stopped being affectionate our communication grew distant thats's when it all fell apart and all i'm left with is this broken heart (and your shit in my garage) -Derek del Barrio <derek.delbarrio@gmail.com> |