uncategorized

poems and songs

hero (3/1998)
Drift of Time (12/1996)
untitled (2/26/1997)
about basketball
Tears From A Clown
I Will Succeed (7/30/1997)
the cling wrap woman (7/22/1997)
waiting for friday (7/23/1997)
only sometimes (8/1997)
Virtue of Apathy (8/1997)
Childhood (9/1997)
the freshman disease (1/1998)
a quick (3/1997)
single person (1/28/1999)
smoking gun (2/6/1999)
realization (1/20/2001)
typical twenty year old girl (05/12/2001)
zero gravity fire (06/21/2003)


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hero

complacency serves you well
i wish all could learn of you
your laissez-faire disposition
in such a time of competition

you know yourself so well
you have bad times and make the best of them
if everyone could make your same decisions
but changing people is not your mission

the masses scrieving to make ends meet
but you're carefree and fill your basic needs
tolerant, but aggressive where confrontation lies
you are a hero in my eyes

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
Drift of Time

A clock, a track of time
Belonging to me, but never mine
The past, it fades away
To find its rain on sunny days
Life, it flies by me
Seeming like it will never cease
Yesterday, 'Tommorrow's not far from here'
Let the brand new day stay sincere
What happened to today
Yes it seems, time has drifted away

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
(untitled)

since the first crawl from my mother's womb,
i have not been able to be confided to a room
exploration, my thirst to know
fidgets my soul and i must go
and i will keep searching,
until i find what i am looking for

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
about basketball

a waterfall of sweat
pours down my forehead
into my eyes
the loud noises fall
into the background
and eventually hear them no more
my heartbeat
my shoes
the ball
i cease breathing
and all of my concentration
is focused on winning
four second count
the ball is inbounded
six heartbeats
four steps
i am passed to
jump
and the defender blocks my shot
four heartbeats
three steps
recovery
i pull back on a single foot
launch
i find myself in a movie
this is unreal
front of the rim to the back
and the ball rolls out
bouncing to the floor
the buzzer echoes
i feel the scream inside
but hold back the tear
i walk to the locker room head down
the others' spirits are high
a fellow player pats me on the shoulder
'cheer up, we won'
i remained silent
'maybe you'll get to play again'
i held back the tear again
i lost
no one understands what
it is like to be last string

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
Tears From A Clown

I saw him crying in the park today
I told him he shouldn't have a frown
He told me kids grow up too fast these days
And no one is enthused by a clown

I reminded him to put the gun away
It scared me and the kids at play
He had threatened to commit suicide
Going out just the way his father died

Do you wanna repeat history
It all seems like a mystery
Life stacks up to what we cannot be
The clown nodded his head and agreed

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
I Will Succeed

If a negative and a negative are a positive
Then how come two wrongs don't make a right?
You try your fucking hardest in the world today
And you just might slip on by

I try to tell myself
That it will work itself out,
That I will prosper in the end

I will succeed
I will succeed
I'll show you all a thing or two
When my turn is up I will prove it
Because I make a difference too

I will succeed
I will succeed
(so fuck you)

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
the cling wrap woman

are you lost or lonely
your ignorance is killing me
some can't see it
but it stares right through me

you need to wake up to reality
you have no personality
you have something to share
but it's not yours

develop some ideas
buy yourself a clue
don't follow around others
walk in your own shoes

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
waiting for friday

another day at the office
another night on the town
a lonely night in bed,
without a smile or a frown

another silent moment
during a time of rest
reflecting on memories,
of when i did my best

another day at the office
the clock strolling by
just waiting for friday,
waiting on time

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
only sometimes

only sometimes
every now and then
or when i get the urge
so maybe not today

only sometimes
when it rains
heads or tails
if she looks my way

only sometimes
i don't know when
look ahead of time
what's holding me back

when i get the chance
i'll wait a minute more
patience is a virtue
but only sometimes

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
Virtue Of Apathy

free your thoughts
get in touch with my disease
lay back in your chair
put your mind at ease

apathetic view of life
it's not a choice to make
mind not focused
eyes drifted into space

mediocre way of life
just getting by
once wasted youth
now passing time

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
childhood

teach me life
just teach me half
but don't preach nonsense
or i'll have to laugh

i just need some help
i'll figure out the rest
show me how
i can be my best

give me your guidelines
tell me the rules
so i don't wind up
being the fool

i'll try to colour
inside the lines
and not become
a waste of life

hearing your praise
is a wonderful sound
i'll try not
to let you down

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
the freshman disease

why don't you smile
when will you drop the frown
there is nothing serious
that should be bringing you down
maybe it's that teen angst
that has you in depression
the stupid little mind game
that's put your life in regression

what you don't believe in
can hurt you just the same
and not knowing who your friends are
will inflict internal pain
because who can trust you
when you refuse to trust yourself
are you afraid of others
relating to what you've felt

oh but "it's not easing being you"
well it's not easy being me
do you think there is anyone out there
living completely happy
you seem so certain
it can't get any worse
well it seems you've given yourself
the teen angst curse

in the garden of life
the wind blows rapidly
and it's shaking leaves
off the memory tree
you had better grow up
and you'd better think fast
because how you mold yourself now
will determine how long you last

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
a quick

a quick fix for the times i've fucked up
a minute of pleasures for the day that sucked
take advantage of my vulnerabilities
my want exceeds my need

a quick sip for the one's who've brought me down
a large gulp for the ones who've stuck around
tomorrow i won't remember your name
these minutes of passion relieve the pain

a quick fuck for the pleasing of the mind
an act of desperation to pass the time
tomorrow morning take some aspirin
and pretend i'm doing fine

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
single person

six am wake up to an alarm
skip breakfast it's time to go to work
wonder where the days go
wear the cleanest smelling shirt

twelve pm lunch is rather cheap
it flies by in time for the afternoon
wonder where the days go
hoping to be promoted soon

five pm time to go home
television is starting to get old
wonder where the days go
adjust the temperature it's starting to get cold

eight pm another wasted night
this is the last time eating dinner from a can
wonder where the days go
in want of someone to understand

midnight strikes the clock
seems like it is all just deja vu
wonder where the days go
another single person sleeps just like you

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
smoking gun

when you look down at your hands
and you're holding a smoking gun
do you put it in your pocket
and quit while you've won

when the burden is on your shoulders
and you're mind is on overload
do you push aside you problems
the trick you've always known

do you close the door behind you
do you stop to say please
do you go to church on sunday
do you fulfill your basic need

when life is overwhelming
and the answer's in arms reach
do you reach out for the cure
and give it what you need

when the day is almost over
and the clock is ticking by
do you sweat until it's time
or do you loosen up your tie

you've got some quirks about you
and the walls are closing in
all eyes follow your motions
do you lose or do you win

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
realization

it came to me
a realization
i accepted it
without hesitation

and now that i
think about it
there's no way
i'd ever doubt it

it doesn't defy
intellect or logic
i cherish it
it keeps me honest

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
typical twenty year old girl

she'll fuck anyone to make herself feel beautiful
she has yet to learn that life is not a musical

she goes to school
makes good grades
has a job
but mom pays most of the way

she cries all night
whines to me
attends counciling
'cause she has no self-esteem

she'll tell lies to make herself seem interesting
she'll say anything to get a little sympathy

she wonders why
she's depressed all the time
a few pounds overweight
and does not exercise

takes prescription drugs,
but they don't help
she stopped trying
and wallows in her own hell

she'll spend her weekends feeling sorry for herself
and all this negativity is so bad for her health

she feels trapped
no where to go
so she blends in
and follows the flow

some day she'll learn
i hope she will
and maybe then
she'll follow her own free will

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>
zero gravity fire

it starts with panic
then she goes manic
how do i control a zero gravity fire

it spreads, it burns
i extinguish it, it returns
how do i control this wayward descending spire

cut off all her oxygen
do it before the fire starts again
that's how i control her zero gravity fire

-Derek del Barrio   <[email protected]>

All works are copyrighted ©1995-2016 by Derek del Barrio

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